The 7 Principle of Success I confirmed by jumping out of perfectly serviceable aircraft!

A friend of mine recently invited me to talk to a group of business people on the subject of success in business, and life as a whole. But then he complicated my life by asking me to use some of the experiences that I had during my military career to illustrate the principles that I would be sharing. The complication came simply from the fact that it is not a period of my life that I reference very often, and I was truly not convinced that it was something that would be of general interest to other people. But because I'm such an amazing friend, I reluctantly agreed to do it, and ended up with about 30 minutes of pretty interesting content.

The good news for you is that I am not going to bore you with the military stuff, unless you specifically ask for it, of course! Instead, I'm going to pull out the major elements of the presentation that identify the 7 primary areas that each of us needs to focus on if we wish to be successful in our businesses, or our lives as a whole. So here we go…

1. Accountability

This is the fundamental requirement for success – we need to each own the process that got us to where we are today, even though we may not regard ourselves as being successful yet. A lack of accountability manifests in our lives as a lack of understanding of our personal values and that leaves us unsure of what we really believe, or where we are actually heading. As soon as we become accountable for our past we free ourselves up to be equally accountable for the future of our choosing. Continuing to blame random forces, over which we have no control, keeps us trapped in our past, and allows our history to determine our destiny. Each of us has arrived at the point in our lives that we are at today because of the decisions that we have made. In turn, each of those decisions was based on our thinking at the time. Therefore, it follows that if we can change the way we think, that will change our decision-making process, and that will allow us to move into the future of our choosing.

2. Forgiveness

A lack of forgiveness in our lives keeps us emotionally bound to historical problems and issues, and stops us being able to be objective about our current situation and our future. We end up "shoulding all over ourselves" – I should have done this, I should have done that, I should do the next thing! Unforgiveness traps us in the no-man's land of inactivity, and hoarding forgiveness very quickly leads to bitterness. Releasing the demons of past, which you can do nothing about anyway, gives you a clear heart, and a new beginning. Apart from the fact that all of the hours spent planning the confrontation and revenge for past wrongs could have been used for something far more positive, all that they have actually created is a psychological rock in your shoe, and the person you are angry with has probably not lost one second of sleep over the issue.  Start each day with a forgiving heart, forgive other people's lack of understanding, and accept that criticism is the price you pay for moving out of mediocrity.

3. Happiness

Without wishing to burst your bubble, success does not always bring happiness. Think about how many eminently successful people you know about, who live in a state of abject depression, and are extremely unhappy.  Despite existing levels or degrees of success, a lack of happiness is often the result of fear of failure. Unfortunately, we have got the formula wrong, and any of you who have read any of my previous blogs on the subject will know that happiness is a choice, and is critical in order to achieve success, not the other way around. Happiness, as a choice, is the end result of thoughts and activities that bring about a chemical reaction in your physical being, called euphoria. And the good news is that euphoria is completely under your control. Smile a lot, start every day with laughter, and the chemical reaction in your bloodstream will translate into enthusiasm, which will make you alert to all of the possibilities that day, or situation, holds. Be grateful – if you're reading this blog my guess is that you have too many good things and people in your life to honestly maintain an attitude of un-gratefulness. Happiness fuelled by gratitude creates enthusiasm, and other people will follow enthusiastic people anywhere.

4. Teach-ability

A lack of knowledge, understanding or specific skill set will obviously hamper your ability to be successful. I mentioned earlier that nothing you can do will ever change your past, but everything you do from today will change your future. Choose to become more teachable. Read books and listen to input that will help you make positive changes in your personal relationships, and give you a greater understanding of other people. Take advice – making decisions using only what you know has got you to where you are today, but adding input from intelligent men and women to your existing experience, will exponentially increase your chance of success in the future.

5. Certainty

I regularly interact with people who have not taken the time to clearly define what success looks like for them. This lack of definition often results in high levels of unfocused activity that eventually lead to disillusionment and burnout. You need a dream, and the bigger, hairier, and more audacious it is, the better! Go to sleep at night exhausted, comfortable in the knowledge that you've done everything you could that day to move you towards that dream. Don't apologise for your dream, but use it to create your vision, your passion, and your hope for the future. As you do that, you will develop certainty, which will focus your activity on achieving your dream. Use analysis to help you make the decisions that will turn your dream into a reality, but understand that the purpose of the analysis is to arrive at a conclusion. Don't be timid and don't wait, every problem gets smaller the sooner you confront it.

6. Activity

I mentioned earlier that high levels of unfocused activity usually cause burnout. The problem is not the activity; the problem is the fact that it is random and unfocused. In order to prevent burnout, the certainty resulting from your definition of success needs to be used to focus your activity. Grab (verb) every opportunity and run (verb) with it. Faced with the choice of doing nothing, or doing something, always choose activity. Successful people make decisions quickly and change their minds slowly, and as you increase your focused activity level you will inspire other people, and automatically become a leader. Leading is doing, and to become a leader you must take action.

7. Persistence

I recently heard of an aboriginal group that became renowned for their ability to create rain by doing a rain dance. When the leader of the group was interviewed on their 100% success rate, his response was that the group did not dance in order to make it rain, they kept dancing until it rained! Failure on any level, makes us want to give up, but in order to be successful, once we have dealt with the past, clearly defined what success looks like for ourselves, and focused our activity, we arrive at the final piece in the puzzle. We need to choose to persist, irrespective of circumstances. Average and mediocre people stop when exhaustion starts, but you need to see exhaustion as the final step before victory. How many times does a baby fall down, trying to walk, before they actually get it right? They never ask how long they will need to keep trying before they succeed, and neither should you. If you persist, irrespective of circumstances, towards a defined and achievable expression of success, the outcome is guaranteed.

Success, whether in business, or life in general, does not have to be some mythical concept, achievable only by luck. I work with people on a daily basis who are applying these principles systematically, and seeing their, and the lives of their families changed as a result. To help more people along this road, I have created a Personal Manifesto for success, which defines and explains these principles in more detail, and is presented as a personal statement of intent. You can download it for free here. 

If you would like me to come and present the principles to your team, including all the war stories, send us an invite via our Facebook page or the Contact page of our website. Anton and I have also developed a number of tools, exercises, and programs, designed to help you achieve success in your business, based on the same principles. If you need more specific help on this subject as a whole, or on any of the individual principles, please feel free to leave a comment below, or connect with us through http://www.version8.com.au, or our Facebook page.

People with a high degree of Emotional Intelligence make more money, an average of $29,000 per year more, than people with a low degree of Emotional Intelligence – Travis Bradberry “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” 

Do you know people who always seem to be able to stay cool, handle the most socially awkward situations, and somehow make other people feel relaxed? If so, there's a pretty good chance that the people you are thinking of possess a healthy dose of Emotional Intelligence. So as we continue walking through the subject of Emotional Intelligence (EI) I thought it might be worthwhile to sketch some of the skills that you need to become emotionally intelligent.

Current research suggests that EI plays an important part in everything from academic success all the way through to day-to-day decision-making, so knowing what it takes to be emotionally intelligent is an important part of being outstanding. As we take a look at the 5 elements that generally make up EI, you might like to do a bit of self-evaluation to see if your skills need any improvement in any of these areas.

1. Self-awareness – this is the skill that enables you to accurately recognize and understand your own emotions, and the effect that your emotions, moods, and therefore, actions, have on other people. To develop this skill you have to be able to monitor your own emotions in such a way that you can differentiate between emotional reactions in order to be able to correctly identify the specific emotion that brought about that reaction. You will also need to be able to identify the relationship between your feelings and your behaviour, and clearly recognize your strengths and limitations. Most self-aware people are comfortable with new experiences and information and are happy to learn from their interactions with other people. They usually have a reasonable sense of humour, display confidence in themselves and their skills, and are aware of how the people around them perceive them.
2. Self-regulation – this skill enables you to regulate and manage your emotions effectively. Knowing the right time, place and method to express your emotions effectively, saves you from hiding your emotions and true feelings, and allows you to express your emotions appropriately. Once you develop this skill you will find yourself becoming more flexible and will find it easier to adapt to changes. You will become better at managing conflict and handling difficult situations. A hallmark of people with good self-regulation skills is that they are conscientious, and thoughtful of how they influence other people, taking responsibility for their actions.
3. Social Skills – another important aspect of EI is the ability to relate to, and interact well with, other people. EI requires more than just an understanding of your own emotions and other people's feelings – you must also be able to use this information in your day-to-day interactions and communication. From a professional perspective, managers with well-developed EI benefit greatly through being able to build healthy connections and effective relationships with employees, and employees can benefit equally when they are able to develop strong rapport with their co-workers and team leaders. Active listening, strong verbal and non-verbal communication skills, leadership and persuasiveness are all important social skills.
4. Empathy – the ability to understand the implications of how the people around you are feeling, is a critical element of well-developed EI. This goes beyond simply being able to recognize the emotions that other people are feeling, in that it also affects the way you respond to those people. Sensing that someone is feeling sad or hopeless influences you to treat them with extra care and concern, and to make an effort to lift their spirits. Empathy will also give you the ability to understand the power dynamics that come into play in social relationships, especially in the workplace. Being able to sense who possesses the power in different relationships, and understanding how that influences feelings and actions, will allow you to accurately interpret the different situations that can result from such power dynamics.
5. Motivation – why people really do things plays a key role in EI. People who are emotionally intelligent are intrinsically motivated, which means that they see beyond simple external rewards like recognition, acclaim, fame and money, and have a drive to fulfill their own inner needs and goals. They look for opportunities that take them towards internal rewards and actively seek out peak experiences. They are action oriented, set goals, usually have a high need for achievement, and are constantly looking for ways to do things better. There are also generally very committed, and are comfortable taking the initiative when a task is put in front of them.

So, how did you do on the self-evaluation? Those of you that hit 5 out of 5 – well done! If you didn't, or if the self-evaluation exercise simply raised more questions on this subject feel free to drop us a comment, or a question on our Facebook page, through our Twitter feed or on the Version 8 website. Don't forget that I'm offering complimentary "Understanding My Values and Beliefs" sessions for the next 2 weeks and if you'd like to request one, op on over to http://www.version8.com.au and use our Contact Page to request your confidential personal session.

As usual, feel free to leave any other comments below or on our Facebook page or Twitter feed, and if we can help you with anything else jump on over to http://www.version8.com.au/contact-us, and use our Contact Page to drop us a line.

71% of employers value Emotional Quotient (EQ) more than the traditional aptitude test used to determine our Intelligence Quotient (IQ)!

That is quite an attention-grabbing statistic, so I thought we would tackle the subject of Emotional Intelligence (EI), or Emotional Quotient (EQ) as it is sometimes known, over the next couple of blogs. As usual with these things, it helps to get a basic definition of what exactly we are talking about so let me introduce Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer, who have been some of the leading researchers on this subject. They define EI as "the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions" (1990).

They also came up with a model that identified the 4 different elements of EI – perceiving, reasoning, understanding, and managing emotions, and those of the things we going to drill down into a little more today.

1. Perceiving Emotions – the starting point in being able to understand emotions and the role they play, is the ability to be able to perceive them accurately. Emotions contain valuable information about who you are, how you handle relationships, and the world around you. Obviously, if you are not able to perceive the correct emotion this will seriously impair your ability to reason, understand or manage your, or other people's emotions. In others, accurate perception will involve being able to understand a range of different signals that would include things such as the other person's facial expression, and their body language. Being aware of other people's emotions is a foundational key to working with, and motivating other people.
2. Reasoning With Emotions – once we have correctly perceived the emotion, we can move on to using that emotion to firstly generate thinking, and thereafter, cognitive actions. Because we respond emotionally to things that grab our attention, we need to use the emotions we perceive to help us prioritise the things we pay attention to, and react to. How we feel influences how we think, and readers of my previous blogs will know that science proves that we tend to be better at generating ideas and finding solutions to problems when we are in a more positive emotional state. Reasoning with emotions effectively means developing the ability to link emotions with cognitive processes – knowing what mood is best for which situation allows you to access the most appropriate mood to achieve the best outcome, and allows you to be strategic (TYJ) in the way you approach and solve problems.
3. Understanding Emotions – emotions can be very complex so this ability requires us being aware of that complexity, understanding blends of emotions, and what can trigger them. It involves recognising why you feel certain things and understanding your personal emotional triggers, some of which may have been around for as long as you can remember, and are usually tied to your values and beliefs. Once we have correctly perceived the emotion, we need to understand that the same emotion can carry a broad spectrum of meanings. If you get into work tomorrow and your boss is obviously angry you need to interpret the cause of that anger and its potential meaning. In the worst case, it could mean that he is not satisfied with your performance, or he may simply have got a speeding ticket on his way to work that morning, or had a fight with his wife!
4. Managing Emotions – this is probably the most crucial part of the application of emotional intelligence.  I mentioned earlier that emotions contain information and ignoring that information when we need to make a decision sets us up for a less than stellar outcome! Being able to regulate our emotions to ensure that we behave appropriately in any given situation, and making sure that we respond correctly to other people's emotions is the most important aspect of managing our emotions. We need to know when to engage with, or disengage from, an emotion in any given circumstance, and managing emotions is essentially about having a range of reactive options to draw on in order to respond effectively in any given situation. We also need to remain open to other people's feelings, exhibiting care for them and their situations, and where necessary, helping them to develop strategies to manage their emotions.

Approaching the subject of EI using these 4 steps moves us from more basic psychological processes through to higher and more psychologically integrated processes. Perceiving emotions correctly is the entry-level to EI, whilst managing emotions, which involves the conscious and reflective regulation of emotion, would be seen as the upper level of the skill. By managing your own emotions effectively you will be more successful as a leader, team member and as a person. You will develop more resilience, be tempted to explode less often, and to be able to communicate more effectively with people around you as you develop the ability to manage your emotions, instead of your emotions managing you.

The ability to express and control our own emotions is absolutely essential, but for us to be outstanding we also need the ability to understand, correctly perceive and interpret, and therefore respond appropriately, to the emotions of the people around us. Lack of harmony in the family or at work, and a lack of cohesion in a team, is indicative of an EI problem that will only escalate if not suitably resolved.

Insight into what makes us tick, and the emotional states of the people around us requires emotional knowledge and reflection. This will help you understand why you feel and react the way you do, and helps you understand other people better. Are you clear on your own values and beliefs and how they impact your behaviour? Are you clear on the values and beliefs of the people you care for, work with and lead? If not, or if you would simply like to confirm that you can answer all of these questions I would be very happy to run a complimentary "Understanding My Values and Beliefs" session for you. Hop on over to http://www.version8.com.au and use our Contact Page to request your personal session. 

As usual, feel free to leave any other comments below or on our Facebook pageor Twitter feed, and if we can help you with anything else jump on over to http://www.version8.com.au/contact-us, and use our Contact Page to drop us a line.

This week's blog is a little different from anything I've done before, in that instead of sharing some valuable insight, or 7, with you I'm actually testing a theory……

Being married to somebody who recently completed (very successfully) an Executive MBA gave me a very specific insight into the requirements for, and the content of, an MBA, but also its cost and its real value. There is obvious financial cost that varies depending upon the school that you attend, and this in some way also affects the value of what you end up with, but I am increasingly coming to realise that many people end up with an MBA, and probably a bunch of other great qualifications, but have little, if any, idea of what to do with them. In most cases, years and years of effort and sacrifice along with buckets or suitcases full of money have gone into earning the right to wear a weird gown and mortar board, and place a framed certificate on your wall. But now what?

So here is what started this blog. I was doing some research in order to help focus some of the content I am developing and came across a blog called "Navigating Life After The MBA" subtitled "I am an MBA… Now what?" (http://postmbalife.com/10-things-i-wish-id-known-about-getting-and-mba-before-i-took-out-my-school-loans/) The particular blog post that caught my eye was entitled "10 things I wish I'd known about getting an MBA (before I took out my school loans)” Ms. Perryman did a full-time MBA at Harvard Business School, regarded by many as the holiest of holies in the world of business schools, and in this particular post lists 10 very scary things that she wishes she'd known before she ever started. I've included the link to the full post above, so you can read it on your own, but here is a very quick summary: –

1. Within 18 months, more than 50% of her graduating class have left the "perfect job" that their MBA secured for them;
2. 2 years after completing her MBA she has still not yet been able to pay off even the interest on the loan she took to get her MBA!
3. Most of her classmates, including those who landed the dream consulting jobs, are completely stressed out;
4. Her MBA did not prepare her to do any actual skilled work in her chosen field;
5. Her MBA has not reduced her fear and frustration in having to start her career “from scratch";
6. It is going to take a long time before she can do anything of real significance;
7. Other people's expectations of her are now unreasonably high;
8. Day-to-day nobody really cares that she has an MBA (other than the people who are jealous);
9. Most of her fellow graduates will stay stuck in a high status, well paid job, even though they hate it;
10. Her MBA did not help to figure out what she wants to do in life, how to find her passion and purpose, or given her any clarity on how she is going to change the world.

If those 10 things are not scary enough on their own, this post generated 914 Facebook likes, and 386 comments, all sharing similar experiences from other graduates!

The reason I am telling you all of this is that Ms. Perryman's situation is anything but unique (obviously from the comments). Her experience, and that of the people who are agreeing with her is pretty normal, but the business school, or other academic institution’s recruitment team does not generally highlight that fact. And to blame the MBA, or any other academic qualification, for the situation is unfair, as the qualification is simply one of a number of elements needed for any of us to succeed. And that is the end of the bad news for today!

The good news is that all of the problems listed above are solvable, and the real solution to the problem is hidden in her point number 10. She went into the MBA program expecting that it would somehow help her figure out what she wanted to do in life, how she would find her passion and purpose, and give her clarity on how she could change the world. Rather, she should have ascertained all of those things upfront, and then decided if the MBA would assist in her achieving her ultimate lifestyle and goals. Had she done that, she would either not have done the MBA at all, or it would have fitted perfectly into the context of her life as a whole, and most of the other 9 issues would have therefore become irrelevant.

So here is the theory that I mentioned earlier I want to test. How many people do you know for whom any, or all, of the above problems exist? My gut feel is that most of these problems apply to most people, irrespective of whether or not they have a Masters degree in anything, and I'd like you to help me validate my gut feel. All I'd like you to do is type the word "agree" or "disagree" below, or on our Facebook page, as a comment. And because I'd like to be part of the solution to the problem, if you, or somebody you know, need some help with career, or life, planning, or would just like somebody to take an objective look at your existing plans, I am offering a free 45 minute Career Path Tune Up to the first 10 people who ask for one. These would normally cost $150 each, so this is really a great offer – grab one while they are available.( http://www.version8.com.au/contact-us)

As usual, feel free to leave any other comments below or on our Facebook page, and if we can help you with anything else jump on over to http://www.version8.com.au/contact-us, and use our Contact Page to drop us a line.