People with a high degree of Emotional Intelligence make more money, an average of $29,000 per year more, than people with a low degree of Emotional Intelligence – Travis Bradberry “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” 

Do you know people who always seem to be able to stay cool, handle the most socially awkward situations, and somehow make other people feel relaxed? If so, there's a pretty good chance that the people you are thinking of possess a healthy dose of Emotional Intelligence. So as we continue walking through the subject of Emotional Intelligence (EI) I thought it might be worthwhile to sketch some of the skills that you need to become emotionally intelligent.

Current research suggests that EI plays an important part in everything from academic success all the way through to day-to-day decision-making, so knowing what it takes to be emotionally intelligent is an important part of being outstanding. As we take a look at the 5 elements that generally make up EI, you might like to do a bit of self-evaluation to see if your skills need any improvement in any of these areas.

1. Self-awareness – this is the skill that enables you to accurately recognize and understand your own emotions, and the effect that your emotions, moods, and therefore, actions, have on other people. To develop this skill you have to be able to monitor your own emotions in such a way that you can differentiate between emotional reactions in order to be able to correctly identify the specific emotion that brought about that reaction. You will also need to be able to identify the relationship between your feelings and your behaviour, and clearly recognize your strengths and limitations. Most self-aware people are comfortable with new experiences and information and are happy to learn from their interactions with other people. They usually have a reasonable sense of humour, display confidence in themselves and their skills, and are aware of how the people around them perceive them.
2. Self-regulation – this skill enables you to regulate and manage your emotions effectively. Knowing the right time, place and method to express your emotions effectively, saves you from hiding your emotions and true feelings, and allows you to express your emotions appropriately. Once you develop this skill you will find yourself becoming more flexible and will find it easier to adapt to changes. You will become better at managing conflict and handling difficult situations. A hallmark of people with good self-regulation skills is that they are conscientious, and thoughtful of how they influence other people, taking responsibility for their actions.
3. Social Skills – another important aspect of EI is the ability to relate to, and interact well with, other people. EI requires more than just an understanding of your own emotions and other people's feelings – you must also be able to use this information in your day-to-day interactions and communication. From a professional perspective, managers with well-developed EI benefit greatly through being able to build healthy connections and effective relationships with employees, and employees can benefit equally when they are able to develop strong rapport with their co-workers and team leaders. Active listening, strong verbal and non-verbal communication skills, leadership and persuasiveness are all important social skills.
4. Empathy – the ability to understand the implications of how the people around you are feeling, is a critical element of well-developed EI. This goes beyond simply being able to recognize the emotions that other people are feeling, in that it also affects the way you respond to those people. Sensing that someone is feeling sad or hopeless influences you to treat them with extra care and concern, and to make an effort to lift their spirits. Empathy will also give you the ability to understand the power dynamics that come into play in social relationships, especially in the workplace. Being able to sense who possesses the power in different relationships, and understanding how that influences feelings and actions, will allow you to accurately interpret the different situations that can result from such power dynamics.
5. Motivation – why people really do things plays a key role in EI. People who are emotionally intelligent are intrinsically motivated, which means that they see beyond simple external rewards like recognition, acclaim, fame and money, and have a drive to fulfill their own inner needs and goals. They look for opportunities that take them towards internal rewards and actively seek out peak experiences. They are action oriented, set goals, usually have a high need for achievement, and are constantly looking for ways to do things better. There are also generally very committed, and are comfortable taking the initiative when a task is put in front of them.

So, how did you do on the self-evaluation? Those of you that hit 5 out of 5 – well done! If you didn't, or if the self-evaluation exercise simply raised more questions on this subject feel free to drop us a comment, or a question on our Facebook page, through our Twitter feed or on the Version 8 website. Don't forget that I'm offering complimentary "Understanding My Values and Beliefs" sessions for the next 2 weeks and if you'd like to request one, op on over to http://www.version8.com.au and use our Contact Page to request your confidential personal session.

As usual, feel free to leave any other comments below or on our Facebook page or Twitter feed, and if we can help you with anything else jump on over to http://www.version8.com.au/contact-us, and use our Contact Page to drop us a line.